It may come as a shock to many of you, but I enjoy when people log on and read what I have to say. I’m not writing this for my health. So, from time to time I think of ways to get the name “Dr. Blogstein” out there.

Sometimes I send spam emails and other times I take credit for crimes that I didn’t commit in the off chance that they say my name on the news. This week I decided to do what all attention starved wanna be celebrities do: I went partying without any underwear.

“Going Commando” has become a surefire way of getting some press–we’ve seen it recently with the daily Britney and Paris Crotch Watch Updates on gossip sites like Perez Hilton and Gawker–and I wanted in!

Well, its not as easy as I thought. First of all, I tried getting out of the back seat of a car numerous amount of times but not once was I exposed. Apparently, its a lot easier in a skirt, which I wasn’t about to try.

So I had to push the issue by “accidentally” leaving my fly open so something falls out as I exit a car. That worked, but the problem I then faced was there weren’t any photographers around. How do Paris and Britney get so lucky to have cameras around every time they make a mistake?!?

I’m going to have to revisit this plan. Stay tuned.

I’m also going to have to rethink this “freeballing” lifestyle. Its not as comfortable as its cracked up to be. For one thing, underwear serves as a nice layer of protection between you and the zipper. Rubbing up against those metal teeth is not my idea of comfort.

Underwear is also quite handy for when you want to wear khaki or any light color pants. Otherwise, every trip to the urinal has to end with a long and drawn out ceremonial dance to ensure that no drop remains when Little Johnny returns home.

And don’t get me started on wearing sweat pants to the gym. It would happen to you too had you been watching Ashley do those lunges!

In conclusion, I sit here hoping that you all learned something from this post. Admittedly, I’m not quite sure what lessons are hidden in these paragraphs but I would hate to think that I tell of these embarrassing tales without it having some educational benefit.