LAST WEEK – 15-8 (8-3 college, 7-5 pro )

SEASON — 211-114 (116-53 college, 95-61 pro)

For what it’s worth, I’m now 11 games out of the lead in the pool that these picks are involved in – I dropped another game back in the standings partly because I couldn’t pick an NFL game correctly after 1pm on Sunday. And if I hope to bring home any money in another pool that I’m in, I’d better start getting some of these NFL games correct.

The hypothetical Eliminator season ended when Hall of Fame coach Joe Gibbs didn’t know the rules. He called consecutive timeouts to ice Bills kicker Rian Lindell with 6 seconds remaining. That rules oversight cost the Skins 15 yards and allowed Lindell an easier kick from 36 yards, which he made. At some point, I wonder when Gibbs will decide that he’d rather deal with Tony Stewart’s temper tantrums more than the rigors of the NFC East.

Other Week 14 morons include West Virginia who apparently didn’t want to go to New Orleans this year in losing to 4-touchdown underdog Pitt. Easiest way to stop the Mountain Men – control the ball on offense and force West By God to beat you through the air – they’re not a good passing team at all. And extra kudos to the BCS who once again figured out a way to screw up the system. Missouri went from #1 to the Cotton Bowl while Kansas, who hasn’t beaten a team with less than 5 losses this year, gets to go to Miami and collect a large paycheck (not to mention a beatdown at the hands of the Chokies).

NCAA

1-AA SEMIFINAL

Delaware (10-3) at Southern Illinois (12-1)

This is the battle of some odd mascots. SIU is the Salukis, which is a Middle Eastern-bred dog that looks a little on the shaggy side, at least up around the head. Delaware is the Fighting Blue Chickens, er, Hens. And let’s face it, the Chickens certainly don’t inspire any fear in anyone. Plus, as a Towson grad, I can’t possibly put my faith in maybe our biggest rival.

PICK – SOUTHERN ILLINOIS

1-AA SEMIFINAL

Richmond (11-2) at Appalachian State (11-2)

Appy State is to blame for all this mess that happened in college football this year. They got the ball rolling with their monumental upset of Michigan in the Big House the first week of the year. The funny thing is that it may not be the biggest upset of the year now that we look back at the season. You also had Stanford over USC and Pitt over West By God. So in honor of causing the mess, Appy State gets the pick on their way to their 3^rd straight national championship.

PICK – APPY STATE

D2 SEMIFINAL

Valdosta State (11-1) at California (PA) (13-0)

Fortunately, this isn’t the Cal Bears. At least this California team knows how to close opponents out when they have an undefeated record.

PICK – CALIFORNIA (PA)

D2 SEMIFINAL

Grand Valley State (12-0) at NW Missouri State (11-1)

OK, GVSU has a pedigree as they have won 4 national titles in the past 5 years, including a win over NW Mo State last year. Now, there’s this girl that I’ve heard so much about and I certainly wouldn’t mind meeting who is a NW Mo State alum and I know that she’s heard about these picks and would be highly disappointed if I didn’t pick her team. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that revenge happens and GVSU gets sent home without a championship this year.

PICK – NW MISSOURI STATE

D3 SEMIFINAL

Mary Hardin-Baylor (12-1) at Wisconsin-Whitewater (12-1)

I think it was the Clinton Administration that taught us never to trust anything coming from Whitewater. I wonder who Mary Hardin is and if she’s an easy date.

PICK – MARY HARDIN-BAYLOR

D3 SEMIFINAL

Bethel (12-1) at Mount Union (13-0)

Mount Union is the perennial power in D3 and I really don’t smell an upset at all. However, it is the year of the upset so why not one in the lower division?

PICK – MOUNT UNION

NFL

F’ing Chargers (7-5) at Titans (7-5)

I guess I should lay off the F’ing Chargers now that even my hypothetical Eliminator is dead. But until they can prove that they can beat a good team on the road, then they’re still fraudulent in my book. Also, it’s playoff time and I really really need Vince Young to put up some numbers. I’d rather not be tempted to have to start Rex!!

PICK – TITANS

Giants (8-4) at Eagles (5-7)

Following the Giants’ putrid loss to the Vikings, NY’s GM called Elly Mae Manning ‘skittish’. Had my Bears defense not allowed Elly Mae to go down the field on them in the final minutes last week, I’m sure the GM would have had a lot more scathing words for that dolt. Instead, the G-Men got a gift win. I don’t think the Eagles and their fans will allow that to happen so I’m going with the upset…mainly because I’m still bitter.

PICK – EAGLES

Fish (0-12) at Bills (6-6)

Even if the Fish weren’t 0-fer this season, I wouldn’t give them a snowball’s chance in hell of winning in December in Buffalo.

PICK – BILLS

Panthers (5-7) at Jags (8-4)

Well, it looks like the Panthers have evened out, making their games easier to pick. And at least they won’t owe the home fans a huge apology since they finally won a home game last week. That won’t be saving Coach Fox’s job at the end of year. But that’s what happens when you lose Jake Delhomme and have David Carr and Old Man Testaverde as your backups.

PICK – JAGS

Same Old SORRY ASS Rams (3-9) at Bungles (4-8)

In Hell’s Sports Bar, this is the #1 game shown on all the televisions.

PICK – BUNGLES

Bucs (8-4) at Texans (5-7)

If the Bucs win this one, they could win the division. That should wipe the scowl off Chucky’s face for about, oh, 5 seconds.

PICK – BUCS

Vikings (6-6) at 49ers (3-9)

Amazingly, the Vikings have become competitive even with Tarvaris Jackson at quarterback. It certainly helps when you have an amazing running game. But like Bill Simmons, I’m looking forward to possibly betting against Jackson in a road playoff game.

PICK – VIKINGS

Cards (6-6) at Seahawks (8-4)

The slate of afternoon games this Sunday is really for the birds if you ask me.

PICK – SEAHAWKS

Steelers (9-3) at Patriots (12-0)

If this game were in Pittsburgh, I’d think the Pats would finally go down after the last two draining games they’ve had. But, the Patriots have had the Steelers’ number for the most part the last few years but the Steelers did end that long Pats winning streak a couple years ago…in Heinz Field, however. One word of advice to the Steelers – if you have the lead late, don’t throw a stupid interception and don’t call a timeout from the bench when your D is about to stuff the Pats on 4^th down and get the ball back. Learn from the Raven – nevermore!!

PICK – PATRIOTS

Chefs (4-8) at Mules (5-7)

Somewhere in the basement of NFL Films is the tape of the Monday Night game years ago when Joe Montana led a comeback in the last minute of the game against the Elway-led Mules. Can we just put that game on?

PICK – MULES

Brownies (7-5) at Jets (3-9)

The fever for the Brownies subsided a little bit last week with their loss to the Cards but if they get into the playoffs, they are one hell of a dangerous team. I wonder if Brady Quinn has the same look on his face over on the bench as he did in the green room during the NFL Draft. First, no one will pick him and then he can’t find the field because – surprise – the guy in front of him is pretty damn good.

PICK – BROWNIES

Saints (5-7) at Falcons (3-9)

This is the day we’ve all been waiting for – I guess you could say that every dog has its day, so to speak. Michael Vick will be sentenced on the afternoon prior to this game and thankfully, ESPN will be in town for the MNF broadcast. If they weren’t, I don’t know how we’d find out what the verdict was. We might hear so much about it that we might forget about what’s happening on the field. But it’s ok because the action on the field will be a real woofer too, especially if Sean Payton calls another reverse while trying to kill the clock late in the game.

PICK — SAINTS