LAST WEEK – 15-9 (9-3 college, 6-6 pro )

SEASON — 196-106 (108-50 college, 88-56 pro)

For what it’s worth, I’m now 10 games out of the lead in the pool that these picks are involved in – I dropped four games back in the standings, thanks to a number of professional football teams who weren’t very professional on Sunday. Included amongst the amateurs are Eli Manning for his 3 pick-6 performance against the Vikings, Coach Ken Whisenhunt of the Cardinals for not calling a timeout to avoid a delay-of-game penalty in overtime which thus pushed the ball back five yards and kicker Neil Rackers yakked the field goal, and Gus Frerotte for horrifically underthrowing a WIDE OPEN Isaac Bruce on the goal line for the game-winning score and then fumbling an easy snap on 4^th and goal to end the game. Invoices will be in the mail, boys.

As for the hypothetical Eliminator, I got a bad feeling that I’ll be kicking myself come the end of the season. The F-ing Chargers took care of business which would have extended me another week. Can you believe that 150 people (over half the remaining pool) put their stake of a quarter-million bucks on the backs of the Cardinals?? I know, I know – almost as bad as backing the Chargers on the road. Well, my game that I’d take this week isn’t on the board but it would be the Redskins over the Bills, despite the death of Sean Taylor on Tuesday. Now that they have that emotion in play, I think Buffalo is going to be roadkill. I really hope I’m wrong, though, because it’s gonna suck if I get the rest of the way on hypotheticals without a scratch.

COLLEGE

Rutgers (7-4) at Louisville (5-6)

I wonder if the folks at Papa John’s are charging a little extra for delivery this season to help buy the Cards some defense. I guess they’ll have to settle for Rick Pitino’s pressing D at Freedom Hall.

PICK – RUTGERS

Oregon State (7-4) at Oregon (8-3)

Until two weeks ago, this civil war was going to be one-sided. But now that Oregon has lost their stud QB, Dennis Dixon, and backup Brady Leaf is hurting (and ineffective just like his big bro), I think the Quacks are going to employ either Donald or Daffy to run their spread offense.

PICK – OREGON STATE (upset special)

UCLA (6-5) at USC (9-2)

The Trojans couldn’t possibly allow the crosstown Bruins to spoil the end of their season for the second year in a row, could they? I know this could be Karl Dorrell’s swan song but UCLA’s 4^th string QB couldn’t possibly handle that USC defense, right? I think I need one cheerleader from either side to convince me for sure.

PICK – USC

Cal (6-5) at Stanford (3-8)

THE BAND IS OUT ON THE FIELD!! Even 25 years later, the Stanford folks are still bitter about those six laterals. The lesson is – play until the whistle blows and keep your damn band off the field. At this point, Cal could use a band of something to get them going. Remember when they were a quarter away from being #1 before yakking it to the Beavers? How the less-than-mighty have regained their mediocrity.

PICK – CAL

Arizona (5-6) at Arizona State (9-2)

Loser of this game has to go sit on a cactus while having sand dumped on them. Yawn…

PICK – ARIZONA STATE

MAC CHAMPIONSHIP

Miami (6-6) vs. Central Michigan (7-5)

This is how stupid the MAC is – they have two different divisions but they play an odd amount of conference games. So only games in your division count toward getting you to the conference championship. Bowling Green sits home with a 6-2 conference mark while an AVERAGE Miami team gets to go to Detroit. It won’t matter as the Chippewas aren’t very nice hosts.

PICK – CENTRAL MICHIGAN

C-USA CHAMPIONSHIP

Tulsa (9-3) at UCF (9-3)

This game already happened about 6 weeks ago with UCF blasting Tulsa right out of Orlando. And if it’s one thing Floridians don’t want to see in December, it’s another hurricane coming to town. Fun fact – UCF opened their new on-campus stadium this year. For some reason, the builder failed to install water fountains anywhere in the stadium. It’s Florida, it doesn’t get hot here.

PICK – UCF

ACC CHAMPIONSHIP

Boston College Frauds (10-2) vs. Virginia Tech (10-2)

If you’re a gambler (and I don’t know any of those), you’d know that BC has been one of the teams to stay away from this season. They do just enough to win their games but can’t seem to cover that all important number. They should have blown the doors off Miami last week, yet let them hang around until the 4^th quarter. Now they get a rematch with the Chokies who blew a 10-0 lead with 4 minutes left in their meeting 3 weeks ago. The Chokies are a lot healthier than they were in the previous matchup and this time, they won’t let it get away.

PICK – VIRGINIA TECH

SEC CHAMPIONSHIP

LSU (10-2) vs. Tennessee (9-3)

Hey, at least LSU is undefeated in regulation this year. Maybe Les Miles can take that half-full philosophy with him to Michigan. I’m sure a lot of the Big Ten has watched him these past few weeks and thought how great it would be to have a moron running the Maize and Blue.

PICK – LSU

SWAC CHAMPIONSHIP

Jackson State (7-4) vs. Grambling (8-3)

The halftime entertainment should be good. That’s about all I can say for this game.

PICK – JACKSON STATE

Army (3-8) vs. Navy (7-4)

During the mid-90’s, you could add the words ‘take the points’ to the back-end of this matchup because the games were always tight and usually came down to a final field goal. Sadly, Army isn’t quite up to Navy’s skill level so I wouldn’t anticipate this one being too close.

PICK – NAVY

BIG 12 CHAMPIONSHIP

Missouri (11-1) vs. Oklahoma (10-2)

The season started with Appy State beating Michigan in the Big House. Who knew that at the end of this roller-coaster, ‘opposite George’ season that this game would be for a West By God-Missouri championship showdown. My pick is based solely on the desire to make sure that the Suckeyes DO NOT get into the title game again.

PICK – MISSOURI

NFL

Packers (10-1) at Cowgirls (10-1)

So the buzz about this game has centered around whether or not Tony Romo idolized Brett Favre while he grew up in Wisconsin. Romo’s trying to deny it. Of course, he’s also trying to deny anything about Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood, and any other beautiful blonde singer.

PICK – COWGIRLS

God’s Squad (6-5) at Vikings (5-6)

If the Lions don’t start putting a string together here soon, they won’t cash in on Jon Kitna’s 10-win guarantee. God doesn’t smile upon those who don’t follow through on their guarantees.

PICK – VIKINGS

Seahawks (7-4) at Eagles (5-6)

Congrats to the Eagles for their moral victory last week against the Patriots. Now let’s see if they’ll have the inevitable letdown against a team on the same wavelength as them. I think Donovan McNabb may have played his last game in Philly after AJ Feeley’s performance on Sunday night. Something tells me Eagles fans aren’t too disappointed.

PICK – SEAHAWKS

Jets (2-9) at Fish (0-11)

You’re kidding, right?

PICK – FISH (they gotta get one sometime)

Jags (8-3) at Colts (9-2)

This game is for first place in the AFC South but it’s not getting any kind of buzz. The Jags have been close to picking off the Colts in the Dome the last couple of years but haven’t quite gotten the job done.

PICK – COLTS

49ers (3-8) at Panthers (4-7)

It’s a road game and the opponent isn’t the Cardinals. I think the 49ers will have a bit of a tough time even though the Panthers haven’t won a single home game this year. Shouldn’t there be something in place that a team with 4 wins could refund their fans if they can’t seem to win a home game?

PICK – PANTHERS

Texans (5-6) at Titans (6-5)

Once you get 11 games into an NFL season, you should have a pretty good grasp of what’s going on. I think the Texans won’t be able to win on the road. And I think that the Titans defense will wake up now that they’re back on home turf. And for the love of everything holy, I hope that Vince Young can get me some fantasy points sometime soon. My playoff life depends on it!!

PICK – TITANS

Browns (7-4) at Cards (5-6)

Don’t look now but the Browns are a serious playoff contender in the AFC. Brady Quinn may never see the field and for Browns fans, that may not be such a bad thing.

PICK – BROWNS

Mules (5-6) at Raiders (3-8)

We’d like to congratulate the Raiders for ending their long losing streak to divisional opponents with their win over the Chefs last week. However, the streak will start anew this week just as long as the Mules don’t kick the ball to Devin Hester.

PICK – MULES

Giants (7-4) at Bears (5-6)

The improbable run to a playoff berth continues for the Bears as they finally notched another home victory, their first since week 2 against the Chefs. Note to the Giants – if you try a long field goal, make sure that you play until the whistle if it’s no good because you don’t want Devin Hester pulling a repeat of that return he had against you last year. And if Peyton could come watch little bro Eli again, that would be great since Eli impressed big bro with a 4 INT performance last week.

PICK – BEARS

Bucs (7-4) at Saints (5-6)

Has anyone figured out the Saints yet? Have they even figured themselves out? They had a really bad loss to the Texans a couple weeks ago to derail their train a bit. Now they get to face the ball-hawking Bucs who got 6 takeaways last week against the Skins and had it not been for those turnovers, they’d have gotten skunked because their offense was that bad.

PICK – SAINTS

Patriots (11-0) at Crows (4-7)

I don’t think Belicheat will need any cameras to figure out what the Crows are going to do. Everyone pretty much knows that they’ll roll over and play dead. It’s another wasted Monday night game.

PICK — PATRIOTS