FUNNIEST POSTS OF 2006
I wish you all could see me right now, typing all this up while wearing my well pressed tuxedo. Oh boy, this is a big event! We are unveiling the funniest posts of 2006 from across the entire world wide web!
What you’re about to see are submissions from bloggers worldwide of what they considered their funniest post of last year. You’ll be surprised at what some people consider funny. But I’m not here to judge, I’m just here to host. . .
Welcome to The Bestest Blog Carnival 1.3 which is concept thought up by the P.T. Barnum of the blogging world, Mr. Bobby Griffin of “The Bestest Blog of All-Time” where content comes before correct English.
And speaking of correct English, I’d like to begin by calling out a post that wasn’t submitted by the blogger but that I’ve chosen nominate myself. “Janna”, who was kind enough to design the brilliant looking logo atop this post, writes about Australian slang on her blog “One More Raindrop In A Bloggy Ocean” Excuse me as I go chunder in the dunny.
Now, onto our show. I will begin by playing favorites. The first group of the Funniest Posts of 2006 are from “Friends of Blogstein.” These are just some of the personalities (read: wackjobs) that stop by here at Dr. Blogstein and frequently contribute their two cents.
- First up, my man “Slaghammer” of “Alchemy Anyone?” After reading his post titled “Grand Entry” I wasn’t able to sit for days.
- Next, let’s hear from a chick that’s been kickin the retro cat-eye librarian look for years, the sexy “Starrlight” of “Here Comes A Storm“. You wont want her as your travel agent after reading her humorous post, “Girl, Get Me Out Of This Hell Hole “
- Mimi Lennox of “Mimi Writes” just wants to get a freakin’ banana in One Banana, Please. You wont believe how hard that is for her!
- Alex of R2K and countless other quality web destinations provides us with comical caption contest featuring Spider-Man.
- Finally, and this happens to be one of my favorites of the entire carnival, we all know him as “The Bizarre Jokester” of India’s funniest blog, “The Jokes Blog” and the dude (I think it’s a dude) even manages to make math funny in “The MATHS Joke!“
Let’s move on to what we’ll call Best in Show. These happen to be my personal favorites out of all the carnival submissions. Not being included here does not necessarily mean that your post isn’t funny, though it might.
- Leading off is Heather Smith from “Beautiful British Columbia” Its short, its sweet and it sounds like something I would say. Not bad for a Canadian.
- Ever wanna be black? Let “Dr. Woozie” at “The Tome of Communism” show you how. Now, I no longer have to be such a lame-ass craker. Fo-Shizzy.
- Muffin53’s Empress Bee (of the High Sea), the self-proclaimed “crusty old broad,” shares with us thirteen deliciously politically incorrect things you will not (or might) hear in the south. I reckon them there confederacy aint rising again anytime soon.
- Scrub-a-Home? How about Scrub-a-Truck? It’s Zorak of Grasshopper Ramblings with some visual humor. My blind readers may not be able to enjoy.
- If you know anything about me, you know I get a kick out of those Spam Scam emails so when I saw this goof on a “Nigerian Blogging Scam” I damn near plagiarized the whole thing! Don’t worry, Justin, if I steal your ideas I’ll be sure to give full credit to your blog, “More Cowbell .”
- Admittedly, I had never heard of the blog “Antichrist & Minotaur Man” before I started doing this Carnival but now that I’ve discovered it, I’ll have to return some more. This guy is funny. Check out his wacky, insomnia induced story called “Units in the Ocean.” Die you devilish creature of the sea!
Well, it looks like it time for our first musical performance of the evening. Ladies and gentleman, put your hands together for this touching tribute to The Children of Myspace:
Wow! Inspiring! Thank you! Next category is The Faux-Interview. This was a comedic device used with tremendous success by two of our contributors.
- It’s “Bud Wiser” of WTIT Tape Radio: The Blog (I imagine that if it were WTIT Television it could truly be called an actual “Boob Tube”) has a rare “interview” with President George W. Bush.
- Bobbarama goes soaring into uncharted waters at bobbarama.com with an exclusive interview with gruffy Professor Phil Pelican, the leading expert on ‘pels’ — Mother Nature’s unlikeliest ‘flights of fancy.’
Holy crap this is a lot of work! For the record, this is the most thought I’ve ever had to put into one of my posts! Speaking of crap. . .tell me, who in their right mind doen’t like bathroom humor? Seriously! Well, if you’re as sophisticated as I am, you are in luck. Whether you’re a fan of “#1″ or “#2″ do I have a couple of posts for you!
- #1: Cathy from “Cathy’s Rants and Ramblin’s” aims to please and pleads for aim in “How To Train Our Man“
- #2: Father Bohab gives us the inside scoop on a monster poop on his blog “When your only tool is a hammer”
Moving on. . .Let’s face it, if you’re reading Dr. Blogstein, you’re a nerd or at least a part nerd. Its nothing to be ashamed of, in fact, it means that you should enjoy the next grouping of Nerdtastic Humor featuring topics such as blogging, video games and The Simpsons.
- I can’t tell. Is this a real video game? I wish it were. Gabe presents Game Review: Stephen Colbert’s World of ColbertCraft [WoCC] posted at two new things: a webcomic.
- This award winning post comes from Wolf, James Wolf. He, of “I AM THE HUNTER,” won first place in a mentalfloss.com contest asking people to plot out the next James Bond flick. This 007 is indeed one of the funniest of 006.
- Sanni at Coffee2Go gives us every prank phone call Bart Simspon ever made and puts it on one easy to read web page. Hey everybody, I. P. Freely!
- Daniel Thompson of The Junkdrawer of Thought writes in: “just wanted to submit my article for the next blog carnival, Digital Communication. The problem is, I really don’t know which of my articles is funniest, or even if they are funny to anyone but me. If the host doesn’t think this post is funny, then it’s fine with me if he uses one these articles instead: Infinity Plus Infinity or Instruments With Funny Names.” Well, Daniel, I’ll let the readers decide. Personally, I enjoyed Instruments With Funny Names but perhaps I’m just a Sackbut.
- Schizo of The Blog of Dysfunction (geez, a blog more dysfunctional than this here?!?) uncovers “The great blogging conspiracy: What they don’t tell you before you begin blogging.” Gotta tell ya, this one rings true!
- Last though possibly the most nerdy of the Nerdtastic Humor grouping is Idea Book’s Ask Hawkins B.A.: Wee Pirate vs. Leprachaun. But don’t anyone try to pretend that you never spent nights wondering who would win in a fair fight between a wee pirate or a leprachaun?
And now, a word from our sponsors:
And we’re back to what is easily becoming the longest post in Dr. Blogstein history! Our next category is the Alzheimer’s Humor. That’s right, we have two submissions that poke fun at or laugh at the disease because I guess if you can’t laugh at dementia , then what can you laugh at?
- Karma Karma of JewBu Quest is a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. She also makes the best of a tragic situation in “My Mom is Cute” a touching and very human post. Keep laughing!
- J. Jeff Roberts of Jeff’s Jetsam offers us a Joke for Free. You get what you pay for. (sorry, couldn’t resist)
How about we move onto a little Holiday Hilarity? We have some X-Mas lights and Halloween hijinx.
- Let’s start with Christmas while its still fresh in our memories. “They’re Everywhere!!!” could have been called “When Christmas Lights Attack” and is your chance to see Kara of “A Bit of Me” use the phrase “I almost wet my pants.”
- “Secret Simon” takes time out of sharing “The Secret of Life” with us to take us trick-or-treating this past Halloween.
Let’s check some of the funniest Public Service posts of 2006.
- Want to look better naked? Gale Martin of Gem-osophy tells us how in her post “How to look sensational naked without really trying.” Sorry guys. No pictures!
- Did you get a gift this Christmas that you felt was way too extravagant so you said something like, “Oh, I can’t accept that.”? If you answered “yes” then you’re an idiot and need to see a therapist. Luckily, “TherapyDoc, Linda Freedman” of Everyone needs therapy? Lessons from a family therapist can fix you with her post “Take the gift, Just take it”. And if not, I’m sure she has office hours.
Now onto the Mothers of All Posts: Funny posts by moms, about moms, and for moms. Mommy blogs are great. I will never, ever, ever say anything bad about a mommy blog again. I love them all so dearly.
- Heather of “Ramblings and the Likes” has a nine-year-old son who reacts to tiny field mice the same way that I do! Enjoy “Mom, we have rats!!”
- Rory Sullivan presents Seven Seconds Of Uninhibited ROCKING OUT!! posted at her blog “hamelife.” I watched it three times and it only took 21 seconds!
- Finally, “Tisha a/k/a Crazy Working Mom” dares to dream in “A Day In The Life…”
By the way, my apologies to CaptainDramaticsMom for not posting her link. For some reason I couldn’t open it up without it closing all my browsers. Nothing against you, I swear.
Now, let’s sit back and enjoy our second musical act of the evening, then we’ll return to conclude the BESTEST BLOG CARNIVAL. This song is in honor of all the pansies getting ready to root for the New England Patriots this weekend in the NFL Playoffs.
Wonderful! Wonderful! Thank you for that spirited performance. Is this post dragging on long enough for you guys? Well, stay with me, we have five more of the funniest posts of 2006 to go.
Did you know that in the first season of Gilligan’s Island, the theme song did not include Mary Ann or The Professor? They were important characters but were lumped into the lyrics as “all the rest.” Well, all of that to say that I’m lumping the final five posts into All The Rest because not of them fit any of my categories.
- Kevin of Humble Tidbits of Vacuity will leave you cracking up with this post. Let’s just say, his friend Stevie loses his “virginity” at ten-years-old. . .to Wilbur the dog.
- Jessie, the host of the Bestest Blog Carnival 1.2 comes through with a post about her car from her blog “Who Are We” and some more Funny Things from her blog “Hunna’s Happenings“
- Terri at “Musings” discusses one of my favorite subjects in “The Bra is the Thing” Yeah, you guessed it…boobies!
- And finally, look no further than “The Missal” for Juan Wartina Garcia’s hilarious look at New York City’s ban on “Trans-Fat.” I, much like Garcia, am stunned that fat people can not use the transit system. But you know what? They could use the exercise.
Well, that finally closes the book on 2006. If you had half as much fun reading this as I had putting it together then I will have doubled your fun.
Thank you all for stopping by. Please come again. Stay tuned for your late, local news except for those of you on the west coast.
Good night everyone!
Deadline: Jan 10 at 11:59 PM
Host: Morgen at “It’s a Blog Eat Blog World”
Submission URL: http://bestestblogofalltime.blogspot.com/2006/06/carnival-submissions.html
(the submission URL is new, so Bobby Griffin says that I must be sure to stress that this is the new way to submit your posts!)
January 4th, 2007 at 1:59 am
This is a marvellously written post! Thanks a lot for complimenting me!
And keep up the good work - i honestly think this is the best carnival ever!
January 4th, 2007 at 2:22 am
Wow, you really had to put a lot of work into this. I am glad that so many people are are taking part in the blog carnival.
January 4th, 2007 at 2:40 am
Ok, I haven’t had time to read any of the actual posts yet, I just wanted to read through Dr. B’s commentary. Here are some of my favorites:
“Mr. Bobby Griffin of “The Bestest Blog of All-Time” where content comes before correct English.”
“Not being included here does not necessarily mean that your post isn’t fun, though it might”
“And now, a word from our sponsors”
“If you had half as much fun reading this as I had putting it together than I will have doubled your fun.”
January 4th, 2007 at 2:57 am
Thanks, guys…I’m curious to know what posts you liked best so come back and tell me what you think.
January 4th, 2007 at 3:00 am
SO much fun! Thanks a lot for hosting the Carnival =)
Thanks a lot for the mention!
January 4th, 2007 at 3:05 am
Oh my you are killing me! It is freaking hard work to put one of these things together. You have done an amazing, funny and entertaining job! Well Done!!!
January 4th, 2007 at 3:36 am
oh you did a great job! thanks so much for hosting! bee
January 4th, 2007 at 3:38 am
Doctor B! We think you need another holiday! My eyes are tired, yet profoundly pleased at your enormous, and I mean enormous endeavor.
“Children of My Space”, that brought back great memories, not my memories, but someone I know with memories.
Again, great job. We’re tired and thanks for not mentioning us: we are not funny. “Tingle, in my Dingle?” Tish, you are funny! But of course, no one can produce it like the Doc! АПЛОДИСМЕНТЫ!
Salude!
January 4th, 2007 at 3:51 am
Loved taking part in this. Thanks for all the work you put into it. Some very funny posts here!
January 4th, 2007 at 4:00 am
Hey doc, that was one hell of a production. Plenty of new (new for me) blogs to check out too. Btw, thanks for mentioning my post.
January 4th, 2007 at 4:09 am
Thanks for the butt-load of links. I guess I know what I’ll be doing this weekend. That’s a hell of a lot of funny!
January 4th, 2007 at 4:43 am
Wow, GREAT job! I can’t wait to read all of these funny posts.
Thanks a lot for hosting. You did an awesome job.
January 4th, 2007 at 5:01 am
Dr. B: You have exceeded expectations in your volunteer work here! Thank you for coordinating all the enjoyable reads.
January 4th, 2007 at 5:55 am
Thanks for all the laughs! And I’m no pansy, Patriots rock!!!
January 4th, 2007 at 7:59 am
These articles are very funny. I enjoyed this carnival. When is the next one?
January 4th, 2007 at 8:02 am
First of all, who is that Crazy Working Mom impersonating me, huh!? Doc, did you impregnate me while I was in a coma? (see Kill Bill)
KUDOS to all of you for making me smile, grin, chuckle, laugh, cry and spit out my morning coffee!
It’s a good thing I didn’t submit anything, would have been P-U-L-V-E-R-I-Z-E-D!
Whoa Good Doc you did such marvelous work and you have such a way with words! I was particularly inspired by your tribute to The Children of Myspace.
I’m torn between Dr. Woozie’s “Wanna be Black” and Schizo’s “The great blogging conspiracy: What they don’t tell you before you begin blogging.”
I’ll reread them and give you my definitive answer later on in the day! That’s if you haven’t restricted my access to your blog by then!
P-A-R-T-Y chez Blogstein!
January 4th, 2007 at 8:34 am
lol
cool post. Keep up
January 4th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Thank you, everyone…keep your reviews coming. I want to hear which carnival posts are your favorites.
Tisha! You’ll always be my one and only Tisha.
Kara: J-E-T-S!!!!
January 4th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Lex you e-v-i-l mind, I concede…I’ll never come close to Dr. B!
Good Doc, you’re so SWEET and it’s a good thing you didn’t get me pregnant…imagine the results!!!
January 4th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Oh yeah Doc forgot to ask your opinion on something…Innocent or Guilty?
January 4th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
you? Guilty.
January 4th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
G-U-I-L-T-Y as charged, put on the handcuffs!
And Grams says “thaaaanks, my life will never be the same…”
January 4th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Dr B: this was an awesome carnival! It will take me quite some time to delve into all these hilarious posts! But your commentary was certainly a wonderful part of this event!
I have big shoes to fill (I’ll have to stuff the toes with newspaper) for the next Carnival!
Great Job!
~Morgen
January 4th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Tishsa: I think you might confuse people when you respond on my site to a comment I left for you on your site. I know you confuse me.
Now I really do have to read you your rights for the blatent blog vioation.
Morgen: Good luck with your carnival. I mean it. This sucker took me all day to do.
January 4th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Doc since the day I decided/succeeded to give up my virginity on my 20th birthday I haven’t been one to follow the rules but I apologize and will stop doing that.
And my VOTE goes to Schizo for “The great blogging conspiracy: What they don’t tell you before you begin blogging” and giving us such an accurate assessment of the detriment blogging can cause in the FUNNIEST of manners, enjoyed it so much Schizo, thanks!
January 4th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
OMG sooo many places.. looks like my weekend is booked!
Nicely done.. has the Academy Awards called asking you to host?
January 4th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Yeah, Bond, they called and subsequently turned me down. They said I have a great face for blogging and should stick to that.
January 4th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
this post was way to long for my short attention span
January 4th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
FOOLS FOOLS … like Billy Crystal (the dude is like 79 years old—BILLY, sheesh grow up) did them and you are much more handsome.
NO, I am not hitting on you, I did not ask for a man-hug, I will not participate in naked chanting around a fire in a teepee with you.
It was a masculine comparison of two other men.
TISHA, get your mind out of the gutter!
January 4th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
you did a fabulous job on this post….amazing…you know I don’t like award show kinda of stuff..but the was a really fun read…thank you…and I acknowledge all the hard work you did putting this all together.
Cheers
January 4th, 2007 at 11:26 pm
Excuse me Dominator I innocently walked into the Good Doc’s den to see if he announced the winner before I fall into the arms of Morpheus!
January 4th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
Thank you, Smalltown RN. Those are very nice things you said.
Tisha: There is no winner. We’re posting comments on Dr. Blogstein, clearly we’re all losers.
But seriously, some of these posts are better than others and I was just curious to know which ones the masses like and if they differed from what I like.
January 4th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
I’ll give you all a free trial of my new miracle drug, at no charge! Just give my trained specialists your name, home address and phone number, email address, credit card number, and social security number to get your 8 day trial! Do it TODAY!
January 4th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
Thank you, Woozie. You all should take Woozie up on his offer for some NeGrow. Had Michael Richards taken some, he may not have had the troubles he had.
I also think Bryant Gumble and Colin Powell could use some.
January 4th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
Hmmmm…… “Not bad for a Canadian”, you say, EH????? I guess I’ll have to take that as a compliment…
Great job, Dr. B, hosting this humongous carnival! I’m off to start reading the ‘funnies”.
All the best from BeautifulBC, eh?
January 4th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
You’ve put together a great carnival here. Nice job! I’ll be checking out lots of the entries over the next week or so.
Thanks for including me in the carnival. Much appreciated. Have a great year.
January 4th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Thanks, Heather. Have a Molson for me!
Thank you too, Bobbarama. Good luck if you do decide to seek the Democratic nomination. (You are that Bobbarama, right?)
January 4th, 2007 at 11:52 pm
Loser!? Talk for yourself Dr. B. The exchange on your blog is excellent research for us Cross-cultural consultants…
NeGrow, now that was seriously funny! And Michael Richards LOL, Colin Powell needs several vats! How about Obama?
Well I gave you my opinion already…such an obedient disciple.
Sweet dreams everybody!
January 5th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
LOL - love it:D
January 7th, 2007 at 1:05 am
Stellar work, Doc as per usual =)