(WORLD WIDE WEB) Bobby Griffin of The Bestest Blog of All-Time announced yesterday that www.DrBlogstein.com will be the host of the Bestest Blog Carnival on January 4, 2007.

The carnival, the third ever organized by Griffin, will be a collection of the funniest posts of 2006.

“I am truly honored to have been given this privilege, ” Dr. Blogstein said, “This is an honor akin to a city hosting a Super Bowl or a party’s national convention.”

The first Bestest Blog Carnival, which went online on December 18th, yielded 44 submissions, including one from Dr. Blogstein. The second Bestest Blog Carnival is scheduled to go online on Wednesday and will appear on host website “Who We Are”.

Every so often I come up with a brilliant idea that solves a huge problem. This morning fits into the category of “every so often.”

I was in the midst of doing my daily online reading at some of the finest sites the web has to offer and I read this post on “Jenn of the Jungle’s” Liberal bitch-slapping website.

It was a little item on Mexicans and illegal workers and border control—the stuff we’ve all heard before. But this time, it sparked a thought, that sparked another one, and then yet again another thought was sparked. If you’re counting, that’s three sparks.

I have a great idea that will be a win-win for the ENTIRE WORLD! Ready for this? Let the illegal Mexicans work in the US.

Have you gone mad, Dr. Blogstein? Clearly I have as I’m talking to myself. But if you had asked if I’ve gone mad, let me sooth your mind.

Yes, let the illegal Mexicans work in the US…but first, they must join our army.

Talk about killing too two birds (and a few terrorists) with one stone!

Firstly, this would put a policy in place that sets rules and boundaries on who can work in this country and what they have to do to earn the right to work here. Before they can earn our money, they must put in a set amount of time defending the freedom and prosperity that Americans cherish and the Mexicans want. Also, this allows us to put harsher penalties to those illegals who try to sneak in and work without fulfilling their military duties. They could be tried for treason or whatever deserters get charged with.

And the second bird my stone slaughters is the recruiting problems the military is having. Talk about doing the jobs that Americans don’t want to do! Plus, an added bonus to having these Mexicans in our military and fighting in Iraq is the prospect that we one day may have to go into Iran. We’ll have an army filled with soldiers with experience in sneaking over borders undetected. They’ll become our secret weapons!

This plan seems flawless and genius. I think eventually I’ll have to run for office because its really not fair to have these brilliant ideas and have no where to put them into play.

Soy Dr. Blogstein y yo apruebo este mensaje.

Adios.

Earlier this week, I commented that frequently my readers are far more entertaining in my comment section than I could ever be. While that may have been a bit of an overstatement (I mean, really, who’s more entertaining than me?!?), I thought once in a while, I could spark a serious and important discussion, in order to involve everyone.

So, I present to you, “RANK THE REEK” or “ORDER THE ODER” (not sure which name I like better, but I’ll reserve both so nobody can rip me off!)

In a sad development in the missing climbers in Oregon saga, one of the three men was found dead yesterday.

The dead mountain climber found in a snow cave high up Oregon’s Mount Hood was identified as 48-year-old Kelly James of Dallas. His climbing partners, Brian Hall, 37, of Dallas, and Jerry Cooke, 36, of New York, are still missing.

This is why I’m a big advocate of doing absolutely nothing. People may call me lazy, but nothing bad is going to happen to me while I’m sitting on the couch watching The Office.

Why do people feel the need to stare death in the face by climbing colossal mountains?!? There’s nothing up there!!! If there was something worthwhile at the top, there would probably already be an easier way up–like a ski lift, or a really long elevator. Plus, you gotta know that once you’re up top, there is no way down. You’re going to have to brave the elements and nature all over again to reach the bottom.

What a horrific tragedy this is for the families of these climbers, especially at Christmas time. Please, people, stay home. Its warm at home. Its safe at home. There’s TV at home. If you want adventure, spike the eggnog, just stay off those icy mountains.

And, on a totally separate and unrelated note: Do yourselves a favor and check out The Bestest Blog Carnival that Bobby Griffin put together on his site. You’ll see some of the best the Internet has to offer, all in one place and highlighted by yours truly.

Find out why Hot Jaime’s “The Girl Also Blogs” is now only open to invited readers …

(Is it just me or is she checking me out in this picture?)

One full week ago I happened to briefly mention “Little Johnny,” the weapon that resides in my pants. Since then, he’s developed a cult following.

People are begging Little Johnny to start his own blog. Canadian eateries want to buy ad space on Little Johnny. All of this attention is sure making Little Johnny’s head swell!

Well, one intrepid blogger managed to score an exclusive, hard hitting interview with my apparatus.

Tisha, the self proclaimed “Jewish Puerto Rican African Indian American Princess,” gives us a penetrating look inside the mind of my WARNING: I’m about to say “penis” penis on her blog Serenity Quest. Enjoy!

Dear Smoker Who Walks In Front Of Me,

Dr. Blogstein

I’ve been turned away at the door of a club, most likely for being a dork. I’ve been turned away at a basketball game when I tried to sneak in using tickets for a baseball game that was rained out. I’ve been told by people that they are “in an ‘A’ ‘B’ conversation” and then asked to “C” my way out of it. But never before have I been turned away by someone’s blog.

“The Girl Also Blogs” was a fun site written by a pretty New York chick named Jaime (left) who enjoyed to talk about everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.