Weighty Issues
Let me get something out of the way before I begin: I realize that this will be my fourth consecutive post about something having to do somewhat with US politics. Normally, I like to spread my topics around so not to bore myself or my readers but I ultimately write about what I’m thinking about–and its hard not to think about politics before, on and after election day. So if you’re tired of the subject, go here and read about the Britney and K-Fed divorce, you loser.
Now that that’s been said, I think we need a fat president. Seriously, come 2008, I really hope there is a viable overweight candidate wanting to lead our nation.
Forget for a moment that our president is supposed to represent all Americans as a whole and if you look around you (or better yet, if you’re able to look around the people around you) you’ll see a ton (pun intended) of super sized citizens–push that aside for a moment–I’m just sick and tired of having a president that has enough time to work out.
I am not the leader of the free world and I don’t have time to work out. (Truth be told, its the desire to work out that I lack, I have plenty of time that I just waste with you or my best friend the TV.)
But back to what I was saying, it irritates me to see the president jogging or riding a bike when he could be working. I want a president who doesn’t have time to leave his desk so he has to eat in the oval office. I want my president to eventually grow into the shape of the oval office.
We almost had it with Bill “Bubba” Clinton who got my vote simply because he loved McDonald’s. But just like all politicians, once he got elected, it was a whole new ball game. He eventually lost weight and took up running and got real fit.
In fact, we haven’t had a fat president since the back-to-back lard asses of Teddy Roosevelt and William H. Taft (left). Since then, its been all these athletic types. JFK who sailed boats and Gerald Ford who fell a lot and Ronald Reagan who rode horses.
Its time for a man to lead this great country of ours. A real man–a man who eats a big steak, a man who asks for a second helping and a man too busy to spend time on a treadmill. We need a man with guts and a gut! We need a fat guy to lead us!
If you want my vote in 2008, you best be skipping the gym to get some real work done. If you’re not huffing and puffing after walking up a flight of stairs, you’re probably not working hard enough.








November 9th, 2006 at 1:17 am
I agree! Worth through girth! Fat is where it’s at, and all that other stuff. You’re onto something, Dr. B.
November 9th, 2006 at 3:05 pm
“So if you’re tired of the subject, go here and read about the Britney and K-Fed divorce, you loser.”
and
“…and Gerald Ford who fell a lot…”
Hilarious.
November 9th, 2006 at 3:58 pm
Considering what the so-called percentage og obese Americans are, compared to the percentage of fit Americans, it’s really mind-boggling that you haven’t had one yet.
November 9th, 2006 at 6:43 pm
I enjoyed this!
November 10th, 2006 at 2:36 am
Thanks, guys
and Chooch: Its because the obese have trouble running for the bus, let alone running for office.
November 10th, 2006 at 7:56 pm
: )
November 12th, 2006 at 8:26 pm
I agree completely. Unfortunately, “plus-sized” candidates are given the bum’s rush for the same reason as those who are dumped because of asymmetrical eyes, over-enthusiastic sweat glands, or stumpy legs. As idiotic as I believe it is to choose a leader based on their physical attributes, I changed doctors a few years back because the dude topped three hundred pounds, smoked cigarettes and chewed his fingernails. He was highly regarded by his peers and yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that if he couldn’t take care of his own health, maybe he couldn’t take care of mine. Go figure.