Mile High Fraud
I do not believe anyone who has ever claimed to have had sex on a commercial airline flight. No way.
As I was flying this week for undisclosed reasons I got to thinking about joining what is known as “The Mile High Club.” No, its not as if I had the opportunity, I simply began thinking about sex, as I’m prone to do, and I happened to have been on an airplane at the time.
I began wondering how, if presented with the chance, would I go about having sex on an airplane. I determined that its not possible.
Sure, technically it is physically possible–you could do it in the aisle or in your seat (no, I mean in your airplane seat!)–but I was thinking practically, as if I really were to sneak off with someone to do it. And I just don’t see how it could be done.
There is no way that two people could sneak into one of the bathrooms without being detected. There are flight attendants all over the place and seemingly always someone waiting for the bathroom. If they’re not waiting when you get there, someone would be waiting to catch you when you exit the bathroom. If by some chance you do sneak in and sneak out (of the bathroom, sicko!), I can’t imagine you could be quiet enough not to be heard from outside.
I think anyone who claims to have given new meaning to “cockpit” is lying. There is no feasible way to have undetected sex on an airplane. Anyone out there wishing to prove me wrong, I’ll meet you at the airport.
October 29th, 2006 at 10:55 am
Yup, couldn’t agree with u more. Even I have pondered the subject many a times when I get on an airplane. It doesn’t seem possible.
October 29th, 2006 at 1:14 pm
its true – when you think about it. but the idea’s quite romantic!
October 29th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
I will one day have my way with a hot flight attendant bent over the beverage push cart, Dr.B! Let the bastards watch!
October 29th, 2006 at 7:40 pm
More power to you, Cardo. Be sure to report back in full detail when you get it done.
October 29th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
Not only would it be damn near impossible to find a private moment, but you’d both have to be micro-thin to even manage…or contontionists…or something.
Great post. I’ve been flying a lot this past month and thinking about the same thing!!!
October 29th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
Your link at the beginning of your post is broken, or at least it was for me. But otherwise, great post
October 30th, 2006 at 12:04 am
Hey, NAMD3R, thanks, bud. I fixed the link. My bad.
October 30th, 2006 at 2:45 am
I did. Not that special, its hard to do it so you are nervous as hell, you have to be pretty quick so people dont catch on. But being a man its no big deal. A woman with a dress is a must, she cant be anything more than 12 inches shorter or taller than you, or it wont work well.
October 30th, 2006 at 2:48 am
My first thought?
Who said it has to be undetected?
Bully on, boys and girls
tp
October 30th, 2006 at 3:56 am
I’ve been on a few overnight flights to Europe that have been virtually deserted – and dark. I could imagine some brave souls just “doing it” in their seats, under a blanket, quietly…
October 30th, 2006 at 8:28 am
I would hit it.
October 30th, 2006 at 9:07 am
I’ve never been on an airplane where that would have been possible, either. I do know of a couple who did do it, though. Unfortunately they were caught and the cops were waiting for them when they landed, but I suppose you have to make some sacrifices. I suppose.
October 30th, 2006 at 10:18 am
Alex: Please provide details.
Terra: Choochoo actually answers your question. Thanks Choo.
Piggy: Perhaps I’m not imaginative enough but how would that work psychically? Like the Ph. d said above, you’d have to be a contortionist.
October 30th, 2006 at 10:52 am
No, its not as if I had the opportunity, I simply began thinking about sex, as I’m prone to do, and I happened to have been on an airplane at the time.
I lol’d.
October 30th, 2006 at 12:10 pm
What about non-commercial flights? Of course, you’d have to be rich enough to get on one, which leaves out most of us, but who’s to say that there’s never been sex on a private jet at 50,000 feet?
October 30th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Sex in a private jet shouldn’t count…who cares what rich people do?
October 30th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
On a recent flight From Tucson to Houston implementing World D. with my new pal Shop, I saw a flight attendant that looked like Nancy Grace. That triggered a flashback to last weeks Boston Legal where Denny put a Nancy doll in his pants asking for a string pull. What does this have to do with the Mile High question? After watching that scene with Alan, Bethany and Denny, I think, yes it’s possible. Anyway, after that thought, Shop and I went back to discussing Houston.
October 30th, 2006 at 10:01 pm
Leave it to Lex Luthor to grind this posting to a screaching hault.
October 30th, 2006 at 10:11 pm
Uhhh…. What exactly are the cops going to do besides intimidate?
If you are in the bathroom it is not in public… and there would be a question of jurisdiction unless the feds were involved. Please don’t tell me that the feds are wasting our money on mile high club!
tp
October 30th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
I suppose as long as the “No F-ing” sign isn’t illuminated, it should be ok.
October 30th, 2006 at 11:13 pm
Doc: I suppose a skirted lady could just sit on your lap, facing the front of the plane… a dark, quiet, deserted plan ride would allow such (my midnight flight from ORD to CPH would certainly have allowed it). Nobody said you had to go for an hour or something to be a member of the club, did they? I would presume a quickie would count, climax or not.
October 30th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
Yeah,Piggy that would seem to be the only scenario that would allow it. It would have to be rather quick (shouldn’t be a problem for me!) but I would say that it only should count if a) there is penetration and b)one partner does climax. Agreed?
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:42 am
I dunno… Fully clothed and can’t grab a handful of chest… Does it count even if you climax? Might as well do yourself off in the lavatory…
That was crass.
January 9th, 2007 at 9:55 pm
Meet you at the airport!