Its time, folks, that “Friend of Blogstein” Randall Radic, he who was convicted of selling the church that he worked for but didn’t own, gets his tome published. To do so, Radic needs a literary agent.

I’ve written about Radic a few times before (here, here, and here) and find this man increasingly interesting. He’s a creep, a scoundrel and a dirtbag but at the same time he’s charming, sophisticated and very intelligent. He has all the makings of an awesome, grade “A” cult leader.

But, to his credit, instead of building a compound, collecting wives and fathering a flock of government persecution, Radic has used his intellect to pen his scandalous life story children who grow up to be his followers and ultimately go down in a blaze of glory to escape. (This, by the way, was quite possibly the longest sentence I’ve ever written!)

His book, The Sound of Meat, is available in e-book format but really should be published as an actual book, mainly because who really buys e-books? I’ve read his work as he was kind enough to send me a copy and its nothing short of amazing. The dude can flat-out write. (and I’m not the only one who thinks so.)

According to his memoir, the dude can also attract the ladies, so its little wonder that his career as clergy never really went very smoothly.

The sad thing is that unless we get this guy a literary agent who takes the time to believe in this project, the world will never be entertained by this story. And what irritates the hell out of me is that with all the trouble Father Felony is having as he tries to get his amazing story published, Rutger Hauer has his autobiography coming out in February. Who the hell cares a lick about Rutger goddamn Hauer?!?

UPDATE! 9/12/06 Read an exclusive excerpt of The Sound Of Meat.

books, Publishing, Religion, Email, non-fiction, literary agent, crime, Modesto, prison, jail, Court, Law, News

(This message is only intended for members of Islamic terrorist organizations or those thinking about joining such an organization. If you are not a member of or plan to join an Islamic terrorist organization, please bypass this post.)

Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking to all you terrorists, fundamentalists, insurgents and you goofy white boy from Southern California who couldn’t get laid in high school so you grew an out-of-control beard, moved to Pakistan and make dorky videos pretending that Osama bin Laden is laughing with you and not at you. All of you are fighting the wrong enemy. The real enemy to your backward way of life is this guy:

Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is trying to ruin the lives of all “freedom fighters” and jihadists and therefore, all you nut bags must unite and kill Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Now, look, I don’t blame you for not trusting me. I mean, afterall, I am an infidel and a damn good one at that, but hear me out.

This Ahmadinejad guy has openly called for Israel to be wiped off the map. Yeah, THAT Israel, you know, the one you blame for all your hardships. Without Israel, you would have to start taking responsibility for your own pathetic lives.

Or worse…Imagine if Israel is wiped off the map and your life was still as crappy as it was before. Discovering that Israel was not your problem and perhaps your own leaders were taking advantage of you and holding you down might be quite a devastaing revalation for you.

And if you’re not ready blow up Ahmadinejad just yet, consider his stance on the Holocaust. You know, that feel good bed time story your dad and his six wives told you and your 32 siblings each night to help you fall asleep? Well, Ahmadinejad doesn’t think it really happened.

That’s right, Jihad Jerome, he thinks it was all made up and is even putting together a symposium to debate it. He’s calling your parents liars and your hero Hitler a fraud. You gonna take that? I didn’t think so.

Now, go get him before he puts all of you out of business. I’ll give you a head start:

He looks like this:
And lives here:

Dearest Booty Call,

I’m just writing to express how much I appreciate you. While you might not be the most drop dead gorgeous girl in the world, what you lack in beauty you make up for in your willingness to touch me.

There is just so much about you that I cherish. I love that you’re just a $10 cab ride away. I love that our relationship has reached a point where playing games is no longer necessary–games like getting drunk and pretending “it just happened.” I love how you give me my space by cutting down the “cuddle time” to a bare minimum. And I love how foreplay no longer includes conversation–we really get each other like that.

Though I wish you true love in the future, I sincerely hope it doesn’t arrive too soon. Your accessibility is one of your strongest points.

Well, I’m getting tired and I’m off to bed. I just really want you to know that I’m always just a phone call away.

Yours Truly,

Dr. B

humor, love letter, love, Sex, Booty call