My PC has an STD
All this time I thought for sure that looking at porn was about as safe sex can get, but alas, I was wrong!
Is there such thing as a computer condom? 
It may come as a huge surprise, but from time to time I have an urge to go down some of the darker alleys off of the information superhighway. I’m not particularly proud of it, though I’m not ashamed of it either. Its never caused a bit of a problem, its only brought me joy–until this week.
This week, my PC contracted an sexually transmitted disease. I don’t know what else to call it but an STD since it was a virus and it was from porn.
How dare these dirty web villains sneak that spyware and adware crap onto my computer! All the pop ups and slow downs and spontaneous downloads have been a real pain in the butt to track down and eradicate.
I’ve gone on a spending spree by over $100 worth of virus protection and Anti-Spyway programs. I’ve Norton-ized, McAfee-d and Hijacked This to my computer. Stayed up late with it and nursed it back to health.
My poor PC is finally improving. I still can’t get my desktop background to work, and I’m still getting a message about Active-X (whatever that means) but at least it seems I can now surf in peace.
I guess no more internet porn for me. I’ll have to hit the Pay-Per-View the next time I get “inspired.”
computer, Internet, software, virus, Malware, Spyware, adware, anti-spyware, porn
July 21st, 2006 at 12:28 am
Best anti virus (for now, at least)? SWITCH TO MAC!!!
And if you use Firefox with Adblock you can porn away those idle hours with nary a worry.
/Active X is like Java, but goes through everything that has to do with Microsoft, i.e. Explorer, Windows, Outlook, etc. I sound expert, but I only found this out yesterday.
July 21st, 2006 at 1:02 am
whata ya know? I’m surprised and dissapointed!
Though everone needs a little trip to cartoony copy and paste fantasy land of some sorts I suppose…some get that at internet cartoons…some porn. Both with the same reality level. Both probably under 17 years old and delightful to old guys.
July 21st, 2006 at 4:19 am
So, Nanuk, if I switch to firefox I’ll have no more problems? Plus, there are certain websites (not porn!) that are not loading up correctly, could that be from this Active-X stuff?
And, Fox, you usually make sense but I honestly have no clue what you just tried to say. Have you been hitting the Alabama Moonshine tonight?
July 21st, 2006 at 10:36 am
Nah, Its one of those things where you knew what you wanted to say but couldn’t really make it make sense to anyone else, Think democrats.
I’ll leave it at, I’m quiet put off a little and creeped out by your confession that would have been better left not blogged about as some might see it as quiet a twisted habbit no matter how rare it might occur. I can’t really see it as ‘cool’. Don’t be insulted though.:) If you even understood THIS paragraph.
p.s.
no moonshine for me.
p.s.s
And come on! Real man can bag real chicks they dont have to look at fake ones =P
July 21st, 2006 at 12:06 pm
I hear ya, Fox, but believe me, there’s no way I can get the real chicks that I “bag” to do what those fake girls seem to be willing to do!
July 21st, 2006 at 6:58 pm
I use CCleaner pretty regularly. It cleans everything out. Then I run Spybot and usually there’s no spyware…maybe one. What in the world were you looking at?
July 21st, 2006 at 8:43 pm
I’ve heard from people that Firefox will do wonders for your porn surfing. IE is old and busted, as they say. And that the following link is a good site to learn how set up Firefox for that sort of thing.
http://www.squarefree.com/pornzilla/
Not that I would actually know from personal experience or anything…
July 21st, 2006 at 11:21 pm
Dwayne, I’m gonna try that link. Thank you. I was just looking at your average, run of the mill internet porn. Nothing outrageous.
Anonymous: You seem to know what you’re talking about and quite wise not to publish your name.
July 22nd, 2006 at 5:08 pm
My brother encountered the same problem after visiting a few of those sites. Sadly, it was on the computer that he and I share, and I had to deal with the pop-ups as well.
We use Firefox now and everything’s all better. Good luck with your computer.
July 23rd, 2006 at 3:56 am
When it comes to me and my eye-pleasing, I am a television man. Cinemax and such are great for those who don’t want any records of your whereabouts. Also, if you need any help with adding to your copy-and-pasting collection, I could put some pictures of me up on my Guide. Because, according to Blogflux, I am sexy.
Seriously, type in sexy and I will come up towards the top…
July 23rd, 2006 at 5:02 pm
Thinker…yeah, it was actually my brother too. It was my brother who was surfing for porn.
Puuda, I’ll trust ya on that but believe me, if I’m Googling “sexy” it wont be to see you.
July 24th, 2006 at 1:53 am
I gotta say…day one with Firefox and I’m loving it. Only problem is, my blog looks real squeezed to the left now.
July 29th, 2006 at 4:36 am
The idea of a PC having an STD just cracked me up.