All this time I thought for sure that looking at porn was about as safe sex can get, but alas, I was wrong!
Is there such thing as a computer condom?

It may come as a huge surprise, but from time to time I have an urge to go down some of the darker alleys off of the information superhighway. I’m not particularly proud of it, though I’m not ashamed of it either. Its never caused a bit of a problem, its only brought me joy–until this week.

This week, my PC contracted an sexually transmitted disease. I don’t know what else to call it but an STD since it was a virus and it was from porn.

How dare these dirty web villains sneak that spyware and adware crap onto my computer! All the pop ups and slow downs and spontaneous downloads have been a real pain in the butt to track down and eradicate.

I’ve gone on a spending spree by over $100 worth of virus protection and Anti-Spyway programs. I’ve Norton-ized, McAfee-d and Hijacked This to my computer. Stayed up late with it and nursed it back to health.

My poor PC is finally improving. I still can’t get my desktop background to work, and I’m still getting a message about Active-X (whatever that means) but at least it seems I can now surf in peace.

I guess no more internet porn for me. I’ll have to hit the Pay-Per-View the next time I get “inspired.”

computer, Internet, software, virus, Malware, Spyware, adware, anti-spyware, porn

I was reading a column on “Say no to P.C.B.S” by the same title (Go Israel) and I was inclined to post a comment. It was a well thought out comment, basically agree with the author, Jenn of the Jungle.

I was then so impressed with my comment and figured that since I put so much effort into writing it, why waste it on her blog. I want it for myself!

First off, go read what “J of the J” says in her “Go Israel” post so you can see what it is I agree with (and so you can see that I totally ripped off her Israeli flag image too!)

Now, I can tell you why I too say “Go Israel” and why I have no sympathy for the Palestinians or the Radical Islamics as they brought this onto themselves.

Israel has always done the right thing. They pulled out of Gaza, they could care less what the Palestinians do with their land as long as they leave Israel alone. But the dumb ass Palestinians can’t, and they’re so dumb that they even voted in a terrorist government! Eff them!

And Eff Lebanon. If they can’t control the Hezbollah terrorists in their country, Israel will do it for them.

Think of Israel as you. If you lived in a bad neighborhood and constantly had your neighbors breaking into your home, causing damage and killing your plants and pets, eventually you’re going to be tired of it and shoot them in self defense.

Its time Israel cleaned up their neighborhood and I’m 100% behind them!

GO ISRAEL!

Israel, Terrorism, Middle East, Hamas, Palestinians, Hezbollah, Lebanon, War

(FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE) July 15, 2006–Dr. Blogstein announced today the launch of The Blogger Bowl Fantasy Football League.

The league, being hosted by Yahoo, is open to any blogger who can commit to a full season of competitive fantasy (American) football. The Blogger Bowl Fantasy Football League has room for 12 teams and Dr. Blogstein will be accepting requests to join on a first come, first serve basis.

“Blogger Bowl I will be the most sought after championship in Fantasy Football history,” Dr. Blogstein said in a prepared statement, “and I intend on winning it all!”

There will be a live, online draft at 7:15 PM ET on Monday August 28th.

To join, please email Dr. Blogstein for league registration information or post below.

Fantasy Football, nfl, Football, Football, Blogger, Blog

This is genius. . .

Music, Bono, U2, Bush, sunday bloody sunday

It’s been a while since I did humanity a favor and taught annoying people how to behave. After my first BANNED BY BLOGSTEIN! ran in May, the world became an estimated 12.7% less irritating. Hopefully BANNED BY BLOGSTEIN! II will do the same.

The following is what I’d like to ban. . .

BANNED! The Blackberry Seriously, do you really need to be that connected? Is a cell phone not enough? Why do you need your hotmail or AOL mailbox to travel with you everywhere you go? I don’t know about you, but I don’t need to get offers for penile implants or Viagra when I’m in a meeting or at the movies. And how do they all know about my shortcomings anyway?!?

BANNED! Moots-A-Rel Cheese It’s mozzarella! Pronounce the “A”! Its “maht-suh-rehl-la” Cheese! I love how people try to sound all fancy, like they know Italian, and cut off the vowels at the end of each word. “Yeah, uh, I’ll have the proshoot.” No, lame-o, you’ll have prosciutto, pronounced “proh-shoo-toh.” You don’t know Italian, if you did, you’d be pronouncing the words correctly. Get over your pretentious self. You’re a big-a moron!

BANNED! “Good Times” Ever like to hang out with old friends and take a stroll down memory lane? Telling old stories about fun and humorous experienced together is one of the main benefits of having friends (or so I’m told.) But when the story is over, the story is over. There is no need to reinnerate that those were “good times” by ending each story by stating “good times.” Its redundant, annoying and you got it from the old Saturday Night Live skit making fun of public radio.

There, that should do it. That should hold the world over until I can ban some more that keeps the human race from being perfect.

Rules, Humor, Life, pet peeves, pet-peeves, Italian, Food, Friends, Saturday Night Live, SNL, Television, TV, Entertainment, blackberry, Email, Spam