Ummmmmm. . .

—–Original Message—–
From : “Randy Radic”
To: drblogstein@fastmail.us
Date: Tue, 30 May 2006 9:22 AM
Subject: My Wanna’ be book

Dr. Blogstein,

Hey! I’ve got this great book, non-fiction, about me and my felonious life, snitching, fast cars, fast women, just getting out of jail. Google me: just punch in Randall Radic, or visit my blog: soundofmeat.blogspot.com.

Anyway, my problem is this: I need an agent, so I can get an advance, so I can eat and finish my book. I need some help here. Can you do anything to succor a former Old Catholic Priest gone wrong? Who simply embezzled, but HAS learned his lesson (the hard way), having been incarcerated with pedophiles, murderers and gangbangers. I’m the founder of the Anti-Christian Christian Brotherhood and Social Club, which has one other member: Bob Gay, who is on trial for murder even as I write this. But he’s innocent!

Can you help me?

Daddy Radic, (The Right Reverend Randall E. Radic+)

So, if anyone out there in blogo-land is intrigued (or can figure out what the hell this dude is talking about) shoot me an email and I’ll put you in touch with him (and a psychotherapist.)

books, Publishing, Religion, Email, non-fiction, literary agent

Lost in the hoopla and/or outrage over Barry Bonds hitting his 715th home run to pass Babe Ruth into second place on the all-time home run list is what that hoopla and/or outrage says about how far we’ve come as a nation.

In 1935, when Babe Ruth, then of the Boston Braves, hit his 714th home run African Americans weren’t even allowed to play baseball with white people. They had their own league, the Negro League.

Then, in 1973, Henry “Hank” Aaron began closing in on The Babe’s precious record. As the chase for 714 and beyond began heating up, so did the pens and pencils of thousands of racists across America. Aaron received hate mail and death threats, sent to try to intimidate him, so perhaps he would quit before overtaking Ruth. Here is a sampling of those racist letters, courtesy of ESPN.com:

But instead of intimidated, Aaron was motivated and on April 8, 1974, in front of 53,775 Atlanta Braves fans, he hit 715 and took over first place on the all-time home run list.

Now, its 2006 and again it seems that nobody wanted Barry Bonds to hit more homers than Babe Ruth. Bonds has been mercilessly booed and heckled in every visiting ballpark he’s played in. He’s been vilified and asked to retire and I’m sure he’s received his fair share of death threats and hate mail. But what makes this different than 32 years ago, is that the hatred does not come from Bonds being a black man. It comes from Bonds being a cheating bastard.

Bonds used performance enhancing drugs. Its as obvious as the number 25 on the back of his jersey. Bonds is also (for lack of a better word) a prick. He’s nasty to his fans, he’s nasty to the press and as reported by the bestselling book Game of Shadows, he wasn’t that great to his teammates, family or friends either.

Nobody wanted Bonds to hit his 715th career home run yesterday and nobody wants him to play long enough to approach Aaron’s 755. But what’s great about this is that people don’t want him to do it, NOT because he’s black, they don’t want him to do it because he’s an asshole.

We’ve come a long way as a nation, and for that, we should be proud.

Barry Bonds, Baseball, MLB, steroids, racism, African-American, sports, Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, home run, records, steroids, BALCO

***This article is so old already***

***Click here for the latest info on Brad Thor!***

or click play below to listen to Dr.Blogstein’s June 24, 2008 interview with Brad Thor

Takedown, the latest thriller by super author Brad Thor was shipped early by Amazon.com I’m not sure whether that was by design or by mistake, but either way I was excited to receive it earlier this week. My plan was to read it during my holiday weekend trip to the beach. My plan failed.

It’s no secret to regular readers of Dr. Blogstein (hi Nana Blogstein!) that Brad Thor ranks top shelf in my bookcase, so it shouldn’t come as a shock that I couldn’t resist starting the book. So I popped it open and before I knew it I was halfway into it. At that point, there was no stopping me. Takedown is awesome. I read it in two sittings. You’ve got to get it.

As reported first right here on Dr. Blogstein, Takedown is about a systematic and highly coordinated attack on New York City by Al-Qaeda for the purpose of rescuing one of their own. But what I didn’t realize is that the attack on NYC occurs in the beginning of the book!

What follows is a harrowing mission through a devastated Manhattan to bring the terrorists involved to justice by Counterterrorism hero Scot Harvath and a group of random soldiers he was able to recruit along the way.

But, the best part of Takedown is a little man known as “The Troll.” Be honest now, who doesn’t love a midget villain?!?

The Troll is a tiny, evil Scottish dude who keeps huge, rideable dogs as pets and peddles intelligence to the highest bidder. In this case, the highest bidder is Al-Qaeda. Not since White Castle introduced the Slyder has something so small caused so much damage. With all the action and scary thrills in Takedown, The Troll steals the show.

But, hey, don’t take my word for it, I’m just a doctor. Let the professionals tell you:

Bookgasm says “TAKEDOWN served as my first experience with Thor’s work, and the kick-to-the-testes ending all but guarantees it won’t be my last” while The Tennessean of Nashville says “If you’re the type who enjoys the TV show “24” and other high-octane thrillers, Takedown is the summer book for you.“

Here are some related links, posted mostly to toot my own horn:
Dr. Blogstein: Canned Tuna and Powdered Milk Under The Bed: An Interview with Brad Thor
Dr. Blogstein: Brad Thor Unveils New Book Jacket
Brad Thor’s official website
Amazon page to buy Takedown

UPDATE: The Troll sent me an email. Yeah, I know–creepy and weird–but apparently he too has a blog that I guess he wants to promote. Not sure what to think about all this… Actual email below:

—–Original Message—–
From: “Horton Delaform” isailaegean@fastmail.fm
To: Dr. Blogstein
Sent: Fri, 26 May 2006 2:32 PM
Subject: Loved the blog today…

a midget villain? a tiny, evil Scottish dude? Not since White Castle introduced the Slyder has something so small caused so much damage?

Very amusing…

Thank you for syaing I stole the show. I’ll have to make sure I make mention of it on my own blog. Perhaps, you’d care to come visit: http://www.myspace.com/eileanaigashouse.

Rhet Toll ; )

– Horton Delaform isailaegean@fastmail.fm

terrorism, books, thrillers, 24, Brad Thor, Midgets, dwarf, White Castle, Al Qaeda

I have to say that I am impressed with this Spammer Scammer, perhaps more so than I’ve been with any of my previous “Creative Spam” posts–here, here, here, here, or here.

As you know, for years the Nigereans have been at the top of the spamming game , but below, you’ll see the first piece of spam that makes use of the current state of Iraq. They even provide links to what looks like real news organizations (though I’m smart enough not to click those links and you should be too.)

Behold a breakthrough in the art of spam:

—–Original Message—–
From: “Mr. Yassan Al-Fayadh.” al_fayassan@yahoo.fr
To: Dr. Blogstein
Sent: Tue, 23 May 2006 9:36 AM
Subject: A Cry For Help

Attn/ PleaseGood day to you and your lovely family. I am Mr. Yassan Ali-Fayadh, the son of Late Dhari Ali al-Fayadh (Prominent Iraq’s House of Assembly Member) who was killed along with three of his bodyguards and my Bother in a suicide bomb attack in the neighborhood of Rashdiya Northern Baghdad. Please view the news website below for detail Story of how I lost my Father and My Bother.

http://edition.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/meast/06/28/iraq.main/
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1119953467273_37/?hub=World
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/iraq/2005-06-28-us-offensive_x.htm?csp=34

My late Father deposited a huge amount with Company here in Dakar Senegal. I got your contact detail from a friend in the neighbor and have so much in trust in you. All I need from you is an assistance to transfer the fund my late Father deposited to your country for investment until I regain my freedom. I will give you 32% of the total sum but most of all is that I solicit your trust in this transaction and will not want you to betray me, and I also want you to know that is a legitimate transaction and which is total risk free and we both will benefit from it. Please all correspondence should be directed to my private email: yassanal@yahoo.fr as await your reply soon.

Yours sincerely,
Mr. Yassan Al-Fayadh.

Internet, email, Spam, scams, Iraq

As recipient of the prestigious Fox Award, I feel it necessary to cash in on some of my newly earned political capital. (NOTE: Yes, I am aware that voting is not over yet for the Fox Awards and that I’m currently a few votes behind, but I should win because I’m the best and if I don’t win its because the poll was culturally biased.)

The following is what I’d like to ban. . .

BANNED! The Open Ended “or” How often do you hear someone say something like: “Are you coming to dinner, orrrrrrrr. . .” or “Is that some kind of joke, orrrrrrrr…“? OR WHAT?!?Unless you are giving me another option, don’t use the word “or.” I don’t want to finish your thought or come up with a second choice for you. You started the sentence, you finish it!

BANNED! Purple and Green People Whenever someone is trying to prove that they are not racially biased, so often they go on that tired old rant: “I don’t care if he is black or white or yellow…” and then they inexplicably throw in extra colors like purple or green. At that point, you lose all credibility. There are no purple people or green people, but if there where, I’m willing to bet that you’d be treating them differently!

BANNED! Thanking God Until you’re ready to blame God for your failures, don’t give him credit for your successes.

BANNED! “The Local” Elevator Joke Ever been in an elevator that ends up stopping on almost every floor on the way up or down? If the answer is yes, then you’ve also heard “Well, I guess we’re on the local” comment which is comparing the number of stops on the elevator to the number of stops a local bus or train makes.

That joke must have been funny the first time it was told in 1853, the year when the elevator was invented! Yet, it never fails: If the elevator makes a bunch of stops, some yahoo will think he’s the first one to tell that joke. Well, your not, and I don’t want your weather report either! Its okay not to have a conversation in the elevator!

I’m sure I’ll have to update this list at some point but that’s a damn good start to making this world more Blogstein friendly!

Rules, Humor, Life, pet peeves, pet-peeves, race, god

There she is, Miss Blogger 06
There she is, your ideal
The dreams of a million blog chicks
Who are more than pristine
May come true on Dr. Blogstein
Oh she may turn out to be
The queen of femininity
There she is, Miss Blogger 06
There she is, your ideal
With so many beauties
She’ll take the web by storm
With her unbelievable face and form
And there she is
Walking on air she is
Fairest of the fair she is
Miss Blogger 06!

Two months ago, we set out to find the most beautiful ladies on the world wide web. We discovered moms and belly dancers, sports fans and sportscasters. Our contestants spanned from the east coast to the west coast and beyond. And it is ultimately the contestant who came to us from furthest away that has been crowned DR. BLOGSTEIN’S MISS BLOGGER 06!©

In what was a close race for all of two days, Wee-Leng, our third of ten nominees, seemingly had her entire nation of Malaysia behind her, garnered 59.3% of the nearly 10,000 votes cast!

Wee-Leng, whose racy blog, Lights, Camera, Action, is only surpassed by her extreme beauty, took the lead on day three and never looked back.

Congratulations to Wee-Leng, DR. BLOGSTEIN’S MISS BLOGGER 06!©, and to the other nine contestants, including runner up Zany Sports Lady, who had quite a large following of her own and second runner up Tracy Kaufman who had a small but loyal group of supporters.

UPDATE: Click here to read Wee-Leng’s acceptance speech

Blogging, Blog, sexy, Babes, girls, Women, contest, Malaysia

What was she thinking?!?

gay, Humor, TV, Television, News, video, Mt. Everest, Climbing

The nominees have been named for the prestigious Fox Awards and your humble blogger (I’m referring to myself, in case you’re dumb) is in the running!

The competition is very weak and Dr. Blogstein is clearly the best. There seems to be no criteria for victory which bodes quite well for me. But despite all the stars aligned for a Blogstein victory, ultimately it will be up to your vote.

The poll is hard to find so follow my instructions: CLICK HERE and check out the left hand sidebar. Scroll down and you’ll find the poll approximately halfway down the page.

Please vote early and vote often for me as I am very unstable and losing this contest could send me spiraling into a homicidal despair.

UPDATE: Currently I’m losing by 3 votes. In other news, I’ve guaranteed victory on some of my fellow nominees’ blogs. Therefore, I’m going to need you and your family and your friends and your friends’ families to vote for me, please. I may go as far as “pretty please” and if your twist my arm, I’d be willing to provide “the cherry on top.”–Yes, I am that desperate despite the fact that I have absolutely no clue what this award is for.

Blogging, Blog, contest, vote, poll

On Friday, one of the most anticipated movies in recent times, The Da Vinci Code, will open up in theaters nation wide. And its gonna be AWESOME!

How do I know its gonna be AWESOME? Well, the big hint is that the Catholic Church doesn’t want you to see it.

Last month the Vatican called for a boycott of the movie and usually, if the Pope hates it, you’re bound to love it. Don’t believe me? Well lets go through other things that the Church speaks out against:

SEX: Oh baby, the big one. The Catholic Church is real uptight about sex. Nuns are celibate and priests, well, they try their best. But who among us doesn’t love sex? Especially the pre-marital variety! (as if there is another kind.)

BIRTH CONTROL: A big no-no in Rome, but a prerequisite for any responsible, fun loving man or woman. Without birth control, not only would I have to worry about some Baby Blogsteins running around (and that wouldn’t be good for anyone concerned) but I’d also be more fearful of contracting an STD, which in turn would force me to be more selective in my ladies. And, really, who am I to turn anyone down?

ABORTION: Sure its tough to put abortion in the category of something we love, but its certainly something they hate and also sometimes something we need–or at least deserve it as a choice. But, does the Church preach against abortion because, as they argue, they consider it murder, or do they preach against it as another deterrent from having sex? I mean, they already don’t want you to use birth control, not wanting you to have abortion as an option is just them doing the math for you!

GAYS: The Catholic Church is not the biggest Will and Grace fan, but think about it, where would we be without the homosexuals? Who would cut our hair? Who would entertain us on Broadway? Who would go see Liza Minnelli?

So, as you can see, by speaking out against The Da Vinci Code, the Catholic Church has inadvertently give the movie two thumbs up (insert priest joke here.)

Da Vinci Code, Religion, Catholic, pope, vatican, sex, Politics, gay, abortion, movies, Entertainment, humor

Tomorrow evening, President Bush will preempt prime time television to discuss our growing immigration problem. Seems as though tons of Mexicans have been sneaking over the border to clean American houses, wash American dishes and mow American lawns and apparently it must stop.

As part of the plan, President Bush will call for thousands of National Guard troops to be deployed along the Mexico border in support of patrols aimed at keeping out illegal immigrants. To me, this sounds like a waste of time and effort. We’ll always have to be on the border as the threat of Mexicans sneaking in will never come to an end.

I, of course, have a better idea. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em–or better yet, make them join us.

If they want to be Americans so badly, let’s just take over Mexico. We’ll just add it as a state, make Vicente Fox governor and call it day. Do they even have an army? We can take them down in 48 hours. I can see it now, men in sombreros greeting our troops as liberators.

With Mexico as our 51st state, our border problem will be solved–because there will be no more border. Now, those former Mexicans who had been working off the books, will now be working on the books and paying US taxes.

And what will we do with all that extra tax revenue money? I’m glad I asked. We will use that money toward building Mexico into state that is worthy of being in our great union. (And we can give some to New Orleans.)

I see no holes in my plan. If it were me giving that speech on national television tomorrow, I’d be announcing the above. And I’d make sure I was done by 9PM in time for 24.

I’m Dr. Blogstein and I approve this message.

Current Affairs, Politics, borders, MEXICO, Immigration, border, Bush