Holy Shiite! This is one giant Mess-opotamia
Yesterday, one of Iraq’s most revered Shiite mosques was blown up, presumably by their religious rival Sunnis. The Shia sure made that presumption and spent today protesting and seeking revenge, amassing a body count of more than 100 people.
Now, as their country seems to be spiraling into a civil war, in an attempt to quell sectarian violence, Iraqi officials announce that they’re imposing a curfew that would order people off the streets of Baghdad until 4pm on Friday.
A curfew. They’re going to extinguish a brewing civil war with a curfew. Do curfews even work on teenagers anymore? Why don’t they take away their television privileges?
We’re going to need to do a little better than grounding the Iraqis. Its time to give these bad kids an equivalent to a spanking. Its time to bring out the old man–Uncle Saddam.
Saddam was the only one who was able to keep the Shiites and Sunnis and Kurds in line. Sure, he used terror, but I prefer to call it “tough love.” Get the “Butcher of Baghdad” some airtime. Get him a podium, let him speak. Remind Iraq that he’s still alive and we can always put him back into power if they continue to misbehave.
“Don’t make me pull this democracy over and take out the dictator!”
February 24th, 2006 at 3:45 am
You’re quite right, Dr Blogstein. I fear, however, that Saddam has taken to appearing in his night clothes and, last I heard, he was on a hunger strike.
I don’t think the image of him in his nightcap would do much to quell the unrest, but perhaps the threat of stale Cheetos as rations, washed down with tap water, might do trick…
February 24th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Showing up to court in pajamas worked for Michael Jackson so Saddam decided to give it a try.
February 24th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
Now that’s frightening! Saddam and Michael Jackson… collaborating, sharing pajamas, beauty tips… *shudder*
Maybe we don’t need the ‘dictator’ part — just petrifying the citizens of the Mid East with these 2 characters might put down any chaos.
February 28th, 2006 at 2:40 am
I thought we should have dusted the spider webs out of Saddam’s hair and put him back in his palace right away. Sure he’s a bastard, but he doesn’t hide the fact. He’d crack some skulls and everything would quiet down again. He also does something that I think a lot of governments should emulate. Every so often he goes through his government and his military higher-ups and culls them. That way you don’t have to look at the same old faces year after year.
February 28th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
PhoKid
Thank you for joining us here at Dr. Blogstein. After reading your comment, I may want you to run my dictatorship (though then it would be YOUR dictatorship–I’ll need to give this more thought)