Its actually spelled “AYDS” and it was an appetite suppressing diet candy from the late 70’s and early 80’s. Knowing what we know now, these commercials are hilarious!

UNITED KINGDOM–British blogger Seb Carrol stunningly announced his infatuation with his female plumber today on his blog, “Seb’s Blag.”

Carrol describes his plumber, whose name is Amber, as being “very, very slim” and having “the most beautiful eyes and facial bone structure.” He goes on to say, “she’s very boyish, and blissfully unaware of her beauty.” Suspiciously, he neglects to mention how she handles a plunger nor does he describe any work she’s done on his pipes, though he does say “she’s very polite, very thorough, and always goes the extra mile.”

In what seems to be more than a crush, Carol (right) claims that if he were just 10 years younger he would ask for Amber’s hand in marriage.

Dr. Blogstein will keep you updated on any developments and hopes to bring you the first pictures of Amber the Plumber.

NOT Amber the Plumber

Yesterday, one of Iraq’s most revered Shiite mosques was blown up, presumably by their religious rival Sunnis. The Shia sure made that presumption and spent today protesting and seeking revenge, amassing a body count of more than 100 people.

Now, as their country seems to be spiraling into a civil war, in an attempt to quell sectarian violence, Iraqi officials announce that they’re imposing a curfew that would order people off the streets of Baghdad until 4pm on Friday.

A curfew. They’re going to extinguish a brewing civil war with a curfew. Do curfews even work on teenagers anymore? Why don’t they take away their television privileges?

We’re going to need to do a little better than grounding the Iraqis. Its time to give these bad kids an equivalent to a spanking. Its time to bring out the old man–Uncle Saddam.

Saddam was the only one who was able to keep the Shiites and Sunnis and Kurds in line. Sure, he used terror, but I prefer to call it “tough love.” Get the “Butcher of Baghdad” some airtime. Get him a podium, let him speak. Remind Iraq that he’s still alive and we can always put him back into power if they continue to misbehave.

“Don’t make me pull this democracy over and take out the dictator!”

Two very different subjects, one far more interesting than the other. By the amount of advertising you see here on Dr. Blogstein (none!), you can guess which of the two I find more interesting: Making Money Art
Is it just me or does everyone enjoy getting their change back from a cashier and noticing someone drew a mustache and glasses on George Washington’s face? I never thought it was just me, and now a visionary by the name of John Bitter has confirmed my belief.

Bitter, who is also known as “The Burrito King of Charlotte, N.C.” (not to be confused with Abe Froman who is the “Sausage King of Chicago”), is also someone who is oddly drawn to money that is drawn upon.

Bitter is the owner of Johnny Burrito, a lunchtime landmark in downtown Charlotte, N.C., jammed with customers from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., most of whom pay in cash. He made a practice of setting aside bills with interesting markings, messages and drawing on it.

We’ve all seen them: Perhaps a dollar with ball-point lettering around the margins that reads “ST. LAZARUS, ANYONE WHO RECEIVES THIS BILL WILL BE BLESSED WITH A LOT OF MONEY IF THEY WRITE THIS MESSAGE ON TEN OTHER BILLS.” Or maybe a written or stamped slogan like: “LEGALIZE POT” “DEPORT ALL ILLEGAL ALIENS” or “IMPEACH BUSH.” Some even with lunch orders or phone numbers scribbled on them.

Luckily, Bitter doesn’t keep these to himself. With the help of the World Wide Web, he stores these bills for us all to enjoy on www.uglymoney.com

There are over 300 “ugly” bills on his site worth more than $1,750! Its The Museum of Moron Art! Its surely worth the visit–Would Dr. B steer you wrong?

Its time for Dr. Blogstein to hand out the medals for the best of Torino ‘06.

I’ll be judging solely on looks, totally objectifying our female athletes…Now we begin:

BRONZE
Sasha Cohen
Height: 5′ 0
Born: 10/26/1984
Hometown: Laguna Niguel, Calif.
Resides: New York City, N.Y.
Sport: Figure Skating

Sasha Cohen has been called the world’s most gifted skater. According to NBC’s Olympic site, she achieves exquisite positions in her layback spins, and her exceptional flexibility and artistry is showcased during her trademark spiral sequence. According to Dr. Blogstein’s site, she’s smokin hot!

SILVER
Gretchen Bleiler
Height: 5′ 6
Born: 4/10/1981
Hometown: Toledo, OH
Resides: Snowmass Village, CO
Sport: Snowboarding

Torino is Gretchen Bleiler’s Olympic debut, but she hasn’t been hiding. She’s a two time X-Games champion, winner of the Gravity Games and the U.S. Open, plus she posed for the February 2004 issue of FHM Magazine. Oh! That’s where I know her from!

GOLD
Lindsey Kildow
Height: 5′10
Born: 10/18/1985
Hometown: St. Paul, MN
Resides: Vail, Colo.
Sport: Alpine Skiing

As a 17-year-old unknown at the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City, Lindsey Kildow recorded the best Alpine finish of any American woman. Since then, she has evolved into one of the world’s best. She’s been quoted by NBC as saying, “My dream Olympics would be to win a gold medal in any event. I don’t care what it is — even if it’s slalom.” Well, Linds (Can I call you “Linds”?) its your lucky day–You win the Blogstein Olympics for beauty and grace, but mostly beauty.

Okay, okay, that was a low blow on President’s Day. Of course, President Bush can read, in fact, his dad taught us all how to read his lips.

The fact that George W. Bush can read isn’t the story here, its what he reads that makes this a story.

According to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune (and who am I to doubt them?), George W. Bush is a fan of Vince Flynn. (For the record, so is Dr. Blogstein)

The Star-Trib reports that the President discovered Vince Flynn’s thrillers when he saw CIA Director Porter Goss reading one at Camp David. “He started rattling off my titles; said he was on ‘Memorial Day,’ ” Flynn told the paper. “He said he had a feeling I knew someone at the CIA because of how accurate they are.”

For those of you not familiar with Vince Flynn’s main character, Mitch Rapp, he’s a renegade CIA operative in the mold of Jack Bauer. He’s not afraid to go against protocol if its for the greater good and he’s not above torture to get answers from the bad guys. Any of this sound familiar?

I think we may have found the source of this administration’s policies. Could reading Vince Flynn have influenced the NSA wire tapping program? Could Vince Flynn’s books have led to the Abu Gharib torture? Is life imitating art?

THIS MAN:

DREW THIS:

NOW, GET HIM!

Americans love The Tush.

Perhaps no other body part has inspired more music than The Derriere. From 1961, when Elmore James demanded you “Shake Your Moneymaker” to last year when the Black Eyed Peas wondered “What you gon’ do with all that junk?” in their hit song, “My Humps“. Of course, in between Queen gave us “Fat Bottom Girls” and Sir Mix-A-Lot told us that “Baby Got Back“.

Now, in 2006, its time to make room for the latest love song to The Booty: Ms. New Booty by Bubba Sparxxx (go ahead, click it, play the video, then come back and read the rest).

BUTT, this is not just some new song, its a revolution. Bubba Sparxxx is on an actual crusade to declare some lucky lady “MS. NEW BOOTY.”

Sure, Sisquo serenaded underwear in his “Thong Song” and Destiny’s Child declared themselves “Bootylicious” but never has an artist went out of their way like Bubba Sparxxx is doing.

Sparxxx has taken upon the unenviable task of sifting through piles and piles of pictures of poopers (who doesn’t love alliteration?) to choose Ms. New Booty. Good luck, Bubba and god speed. (Let me know if you need any help. . .)

What a blasphemous thing to say on the first night of NBA All-Star Weekend. By the way, anyone else know or care that its NBA All-Star Weekend? I actually just found out 5 minutes ago and the first thing I thought about was how I finally found something that I actually have less of a desire to watch than the Olympics. Didn’t think it was possible.

But, I digress as I’m prone to do. Back to the matter at hand: Michael Jordan ruined basketball.

Yes, that Michael Jordan and yes, I acknowledge that he was probably the best player in NBA history. So how on earth did he destroy the very same game that he is known for elevating? By BECOMING the game.

Young kids who grew up watching “His Airness” wanted to one day BE Michael Jordan. They didn’t dream of being a basketball player, they dreamed of being Michael Jordan.

And to be Michael Jordan means that you’re a brand, a celebrity, and a marketing tool. And to reach that status, you have to stand out from your competition. And to make a conscious effort to stand out from your competition is to put yourself ahead of your teammates and ahead of the game.

Well, those young kids who grew up watching MJ and hoping to “Be Like Mike” are now NBA players themselves. Their names are Kobe and AI, Kevin Garnett and Shaq. It is clear that they and many, many others in the NBA aren’t trying to win the game, they’re trying to be the game.

Michael Jordan was the rarest of rare. There will only be one MJ, just as there will never be another Babe Ruth. But unlike baseball, where The Babe popularized the sport and made kids want to play baseball, Michael Jordan made kids want to be Michael Jordan. Well, they can’t. Nobody can.

Jordan was great because while he was head and shoulders above anyone else on the court and showed it night after night, he had a knack for making his teammates around him play well beyond their capabilities. He played on a team, for a team and with a team. He won six NBA Championships.

Kobe Bryant is the best we have right now. But Kobe plays for himself. He has yet to learn how to elevate his teammates’ performances and chances are he never will. Kobe WONT win six championships but he will go down as one of NBA history’s greatest players. However, what made Jordan special, was how many of his teammates he helped to become great players.